Certainly has.a twist in it...AstroCanary wrote: ↑May 24th, 2023, 10:09 am A Möbius strip was sobbing as it walked into a bar. The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The Möbius strip replies, “Where do I even begin?”
The Old Joke Thread
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AndrewR
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
Up in the Great White North
Re: The Old Joke Thread
What happened to the carrots in the mathematician's vegetable patch?
They developed square roots.
They developed square roots.
All models are equal. Some models are more equal than others.
Airfix Tribute Forum
Airfix Tribute Forum
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H-bomb
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
A novelist is suing me for plagiarism. But those are his words not mine
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On the bench. Airfix Handley Page 0/400 , Escadron Hunting Percival Pembroke
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Softscience
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
that's brilliant!AstroCanary wrote: ↑May 24th, 2023, 10:09 am A Möbius strip was sobbing as it walked into a bar. The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The Möbius strip replies, “Where do I even begin?”
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fredk
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
A local bar was so sure that its barman was the strongest man in the Village that they offered a standing £1000 bet.
The barman would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out and challenge any man to squeeze out another drop.
Weightlifters, arm wrestlers, they all tried and lost the bet.
Then one day, a scrawny wee man, (if he stood sideways you would not see him) wearing scratched glasses, a ten year old polyester suit, walked in and said, “I'd like to take on the bet."
After the laughter had died down, the barman said, "Okay", grabbed the lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the lemon rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the wee man clenched his little fist around the lemon and squeezed it and a drop fell into the glass.
Then he squeezed some more and another drop fell from the lemon. Without a word the wee man squeezed some more and a third drop fell into the glass
The crowd in the bar were astonished and speechless
As the barman paid the £1000 bet, he asked "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a metal worker, a weight-lifter, or what?"
The little man quietly replied: "I’m a tax collector.”
The barman would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out and challenge any man to squeeze out another drop.
Weightlifters, arm wrestlers, they all tried and lost the bet.
Then one day, a scrawny wee man, (if he stood sideways you would not see him) wearing scratched glasses, a ten year old polyester suit, walked in and said, “I'd like to take on the bet."
After the laughter had died down, the barman said, "Okay", grabbed the lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the lemon rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the wee man clenched his little fist around the lemon and squeezed it and a drop fell into the glass.
Then he squeezed some more and another drop fell from the lemon. Without a word the wee man squeezed some more and a third drop fell into the glass
The crowd in the bar were astonished and speechless
As the barman paid the £1000 bet, he asked "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a metal worker, a weight-lifter, or what?"
The little man quietly replied: "I’m a tax collector.”
Al speling misteaks aer all mi own werk..
Its not just how good your painting is, its how good the touch-ups are too.
Its not just how good your painting is, its how good the touch-ups are too.
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iggie
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
Best wishes
Jim
If you can walk away from a landing, it's a good landing. If you use the airplane the next day, it's an outstanding landing
"Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow"
Jim
If you can walk away from a landing, it's a good landing. If you use the airplane the next day, it's an outstanding landing
"Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow"
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JohnRatzenberger
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H-bomb
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
So why can't you here a pteridactyl go to the toilet?
Because it has a silent P
Because it has a silent P
acquired 1
Built 2
Disposed none
On the bench. Airfix Handley Page 0/400 , Escadron Hunting Percival Pembroke
Built 2
Disposed none
On the bench. Airfix Handley Page 0/400 , Escadron Hunting Percival Pembroke
Re: The Old Joke Thread
Me: I lost my job at the bank today.
You: What happened?
Me: A lady came in and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her.
You: What happened?
Me: A lady came in and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her.
Besting 60 years of mediocre building of average kits in the stand off scale
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Softscience
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
Lol, Jeff
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AndrewR
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
What do you call a detective who just solves cases accidentally?
Sheer Luck Holmes.
Sheer Luck Holmes.
Up in the Great White North
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Clashcityrocker
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Re: The Old Joke Thread
I said to the wife, "When I die I'm going to leave everything to you."
She said, "You already do you lazy sod!"
Nigel
She said, "You already do you lazy sod!"
Nigel